双 赢
A Win-win Story
戴 希
Dai Xi
不是冤家不聚头，这话好像是冲着金克木和灰娃夫妻俩说的。他们在一起，还真是大吵三六九，小吵天天有。而每每吵得凶时，妻子灰娃又总要摔一样东西：要么一只碗，要么一个茶杯，要么一把椅子……每次，只要灰娃一发威摔起东西，金克木就胆战心疼，像只缩头乌龟了。
Feuding people will meet. Seemingly this saying was meant for the couple Jin Kemu and Grey Baby. The couple quarrelled every three days and bickered every day. Every time she reached the summit of her rage, the wife Grey Baby would fling something to the floor – a bowl, a tea cup, a chair … Every time the outraged Grey Baby did that, Jin Kemu became a turtle with its head withdrawn into its shell, his gall-bladder broken but his heart aching.
这回，还没吃完晚饭，金克木和灰娃又开始为芝麻大的事儿喋喋不休地争吵。吵得火药味很浓时，灰娃又故态复萌，抓起桌上一只碗，狠狠地朝地上摔去。只听“咣噹”一声，碗立马摔得粉碎。
This time before their supper was over, Jin Kemu and Grey Baby again started to bicker endlessly over something as trivial as a sesame seed. When the gunpowder smelt strongest in the air, Grey Baby relapsed into her old habit by snatching up a bowl from the table and flinging it towards the floor. Guangdang – the bowl clattered and fell into shards.
可与以往判若两人：金克木不仅没有甘拜下风，反倒昂首挺胸、毫无惧色。
However, unlike his former self, Jin Kemu not only refused to bow to her superiority this time but put on a bold front with his chin up and his chest out.
“你狠!饭桌上还有那么多碗，你摔，你都摔呀!”金克木端坐于桌旁，双臂交叉、抱胸，一副无所谓的模样。
“You are good enough! There are so many bowls on the table. Just do it, continue!” Sittingsquarely at the table with his arms crossed in front of his chest, he apparently didn’t give a damn.
“你以为我不敢吗?”灰娃一愣，凶巴巴地瞪瞪金克木，扬起的双臂像扫帚一样，狠狠地向桌面扫去。“哗啦啦!”桌上的碗筷顷刻像雨点般落地。
“Think I daren’t do it?” Taken aback, Grey Baby swished her two arms spitefully like a broom across the table after shooting her husband a furious glare. Hua-la-la, the bowls and chopsticks from the tabletop rained down onto the floor.
“你狠!你索性连这张饭桌也砸，砸呀!”金克木站起来，一边往墙边退让，一边激将灰娃。
“Good! And the table. Smash it, do it!” Jin Kemu stood up and goaded Grey Baby while stepping back towards the wall.
“你以为我不敢?”灰娃又咄咄逼人地瞪一眼金克木，抓起一根大木棍就向饭桌猛击。
“Think I daren’t do it?” Grey Baby again shot a menacing glare at Jin Kemu and snatched up a big stick to lash out.
“好家伙!还有椅子呢?”金克木搓搓手。
“Good! And the chairs?” Jin Kemu wrung his hands.
“砸!”灰娃咬咬牙。
“Yeah!” Grey Baby gritted her teeth.
于是，椅子砸了。
The chairs were reduced into pieces.
“还有铁锅呢?”
“And the iron wok?”
“砸!”
“As you wish!”
铁锅又砸了。
The wok lay in shards on the floor.
“还有水缸呢?”
“And the water vat?”
“砸!”
“Your wish is my command!”
……
…
不一会功夫，他们家里能摔能砸的东西，就几乎全摔全砸了。地上天女散花、一片狼籍。
After a while, practically everything that was breakable in their home had been trashed and mess was strewn all over the floor like the flowers sprinkled by a fairy goddess.
直到这时，金克木才像泄完了气的皮球，灰娃才像站到了胜利的凯旋门前。
Not until then did Jin Kemu assume the appearance of a punctured football and Grey Baby stood in front of what seemed to be a triumphant arch.
吵架归吵架，吵完架日子还得过呀!第二天，等两人都心平气和了，他们又不得不结伴进城，去买锅碗瓢盆桌椅板凳……回家的路上，两人细细一算，买这些东西竟花了2千多元。对一个并不富裕的农村家庭，这可不是笔小钱呵!
Quarrel they might, but they still had to carry on living afterward! The next day after they both calmed down, they had to go to the city together to buy a wok, bowls, a water ladle, a basin, a table, chairs and benches … On their way back they did the calculations in detail. More than two thousand yuan had gone. For a not so well-off rural household, it was no small sum.
灰娃的心里像刀割似的疼痛，十分懊悔自己太意气用事。当然，灰娃决不会把情绪写在脸上。她努力地克制着自己，不让金克木拿捏到自己的软肋。
Feeling that her heart had been cut at, Grey Baby regretted very much how she had lost control of herself too easily. However, she would never show that on her face but try to get a grip on herself so that Jin Kemu couldn’t find her weakness.
金克木呢，心里也隐隐作疼，表面却装得十分慷慨：“老婆，只要你觉得消气解恨，以后我们吵得恶时，你还把这些东西一古脑儿地砸掉，就当是砸堆土坷垃，就当是砸别人的破烂货!”
Jin Kemu, though his heart ached too, put on a generous face. “Honey, as long as you feel your anger and hatred have been relieved, when we quarrel later on just trash the lot. Take them as earth clods or as someone else’s scrap!”
灰娃吃惊地瞅瞅金克木：“砸了咋办?”
“What should we do after that?” Grey Baby looked at Jin Kemu in surprise.
“陪你进城，买呗!”
“Escort you to the city to go shopping again!”
“真的?”
“Really?”
“真的!”
“Really!”
金克木越说越轻松，灰娃却不由自主地低下了头。
Jin Kemu grew easier in his heart but Grey Baby lowered her head unconsciously.
灰娃软绵绵地说：“下次再不砸了!天王老子要我砸，我也不砸了!”
“I shall never do that again! Not even if the Heavenly Lord orders me to!” Grey Baby became crestfallen.
“真的?”
“Really?”
“真的!”
“Really!”
金克木将信将疑。
Jin Kemu took it with a pinch of salt.
没过多久，金克木和灰娃再度发生争吵。吵得不可开交时，灰娃又急火攻心，狠狠地抓起桌上一只碗。
After not that long a period of time, Jin Kemu and Grey Baby again started to do battle. When both sides were deeply engaged, Grey Baby, seized once more with a blind rage, snatched up a bowl from the table ferociously.
金克木先是慌了，但转眼又镇静下来。
Jin Kemu first panicked but soon composed himself.
“砸呀!”金克木下意识地冲着灰娃大吼。
“Do it!” he roared subconsciously at Grey Baby.
灰娃恼怒地瞪一眼金克木，把碗高高地扬起。可在空中停留了很久，碗还是紧紧地抓在灰娃的手里。
Shooting an angry glare at Jin Kemu, Grey Baby raised the bowl high. However, though the bowl stayed in the air for a long while, her hand still gripped it tightly.
“凭什么要听你的使唤!”灰娃如梦方醒，出奇不意地反问。可不等金克木开口，灰娃立马又说：“老娘今天邪了，偏不砸哩!”
“Why should I be at your beck and call!” Grey Baby demanded unexpectedly as if being barely woken from a dream. Before Jin Kemu could open his mouth, she continued, “Blame it on my evil genius, but today your mama won’t bend to your will!”
“真的?”
“Really?”
“真的!”
“Really!”
“这，这……”金克木似乎黔驴技穷了。
“Huh, this, this……” Seemingly Jin Kemu was at the end of his wits like the proverbial Guizhou donkey.
其实：金克木心中窃喜;灰娃的心里，也暗自得意。
In fact: he was laughing up his sleeve and Grey Baby was also secretly congratulating herself.
